Brewer: Great Lakes
All Clevelanders are confronted with a single defining moment when traveling. This moment consists of one of two questions, depending on how informal one’s relationship is with those one encounters. If it’s a very relaxed environment, and the conversants are relatively young (under, say 35), a reference is made to a certain scatological sexual act. If everyone is over 35, or if it’s a Sunday School class, invariably, upon finding out you’re from Cleveland, someone will ask, “Isn’t that the place where that river caught on fire?”
Yes. Yes, it was.
We’ve moved past it. Put it behind us, and collectively settled it, emotionally speaking. We don’t do that anymore. At least not on accident. Our fire water is strictly on purpose, now. In fact, we’ve learned to embrace it. YES. SHIT YEAH. Our river caught on FIRE. Beat that Toledo. We named a beer after it, and if the EPA doesn’t like it… Well, who are we kidding? Their water purification budget has been cut back to three pool skimmers and a water noodle.
My lack of beer experience led me astray tonight. Evidently “Pale Ale” is too similar to “India Pale Ale”. I knew that I didn’t like India Pale Ale. Knew it with a passion. Evidently I don’t like “hops”. Who knew? I did, and dammit, I still drank the damn Burning River. That’ll teach me to not read a label. Two thumbs down, but that’s just for the hops.
3 comments ↓
Goddam hops. I believe that IPAs were invented by beer snobs looking to make sure there was going to be something that other people wouldn’t like, just so they could claim to really have developed an appreciation, you know, a real understanding of the merits and qualities and blah blah blah DIE IN A FIRE BEER HIPSTER.
So we’re asserting that IPAs are the trucker hats of beer?
Wait.
Hops are goddamn delicious, and have been a part of most beer since around the 13th century. Even beers that you might describe as not tasting of hops almost certainly have hops in them; they’re just not there in as great an amount as you find in IPAs.
You can pass any hoppy beers you can’t stand over to me, because I will drink them with pleasure.
Mmm. Delicious bitterness.
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